mysteriously_d (mysteriously_d) wrote in hwritesd,

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Madam Pince's favourite

H -

There are plenty of different books in the restricted section I could recomend. Penisutras masturbatus - A self discovery, Deepest Journeys - A study of posistions (which may i say is much more interesting than that stupid muggle Karma Sutra book. How exactly are you supposed to learn properly without animated illistrations), Climax Charisma - charms for heightening experience and a favourite of Madam Pince, The penis within - a guide to the transfiguration of genitalia. Apparently for witches the trick is to think manly.
I for one was pulled into an experiment being conducted by a group of Ravenclaws and one particular to smart for her own good Gryfindor just the other day in the library. They had to see me naked in order to think manly enough thoughts to transfigure themselves. Although upon completition I was pushed to the ground quite violently and felt a great deal on un-lubed discomfort and a voice spoke as frizzy hair brushed my ear "I've always wanted to see you do something better with your mouth than spout off insults Malfoy 'D'" Quite a disturbing experience really. It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Those Ravenclaws study groups really do cover some interteresting material, though, where would they have gotten that book anyway? Madam Pince nearly always has it checked out...

I've never really understood to much about nipples tassles and butt plugs though I have seen plenty of odd items in Blaises trunk. He has this one wierd peice of jewellery which has a bunch of beads on it, each bigger than the next, but then it just stops. I think perhaps it's a broken necklace. Blaise said he got it from a muggle store when he was on holidays called CondomKingdom and he'd let me try them on tonight if i let him borrow my eyeliner. Like I don't know he's been stealing it lately anyway. Who does he think he's kidding, smokey dark eyes a natural family trait my arse.

Be seeing you in the closet, I can't wait

- D
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