Fred and George. Who can resist their charm? I could sit for hours as I listen to their smooth, silky voices talking about the finer points of wand erosion. Mmm…wands. I tell you those boys are going places. Why, just the other day I saw them walking the streets of Diagon Alley, their pockets clanking with gold. I didn’t say hello due to the fact that I saw Fred (Or George…or both?) walk off with a rather tall lanky man who had the greasiest hair I’d ever seen. I was quite positive I heard him say, ‘I’ll shag you rotten you Weasley whore!’ Though it is entirely possible he said ‘My, my, I do hate these winter spores.’ Probably the latter.
Excellent, those passes will come in handy. It will be such a thrill to get some time out from the stuffy library. Honestly, people need to be thoroughly educated when it comes to library etiquette. Why, just the other day I heard moans of intellectual pleasure coming from the restricted section. Don’t they know some people are trying to study? Can’t they keep their glorious knowledge to themselves? And the sighs of ‘That was exactly what I needed’ really don’t help. It makes me feel as if all my study is useless when there are people making wonderful discoveries and not sharing them with me. I have half a mind to interrupt them and demand them share the info. For this reason, I am doubly excited about our little trip. Perhaps you know which books I should check out from the old Restricted Section. I’m quite sure I’d be able to get McGonagal to write me a pass. All you need is some polyjuice and a lock of Hermiones hair and you’re set. Not to mention the tight skirt and shirt…and riding crop. It makes a person wonder how McGonagall became a teacher without sufficient studying. She obviously didn’t get any. Still doesn’t…poor old thing.
According to my reliable source Bill Weasley, there is a joyous collection of extra curriculum books in Zonkos. I told him about our study sessions in a correspondence and he said to ask for Jasmine at the shop. Then he went into some lengthy spiel about nipple tassels and butt plugs and trailed off into unintelligible scribble. Those Weasley’s!
Yes, my cousin does work at a club, but I don’t speak to him too often and aren’t sure which one. But I do remember him inviting some rather buff young men over to the house one evening when my aunt and uncle were at a lawn ornament convention and they had the television on so loud that I could hear it all the way up in my room. Must have been a thriller as their were some terrifying screams from downstairs. And what a mess they made! Bloody empty balloons all over the floor for me to clean up. Funny thing was, they were a kind of weird shape with stuff inside. Never mind, my cousin is a few screws loose so it shouldn’t surprise me!
I’ll meet you in the first floor broom closet tomorrow night, as that is where I keep my supplies. As in my extra robes of course. It’s so stuffy in there and by the time I’ve finished changing I’m simply DYING to get out of the closet. What’s a wizard to do?
- Sweatingly yours, H.