Don't mind him, he's just a little self concious. Pain in the butt and vain but a absolute wild cat in the-
Confound it! Blaise that sticky nose bastard. I've told him time and time again to stay out of my mail. Now he's gone and messed up my parchment but I don't have any spare so just ignore what he said... and the blood. Honestly that boy is such a pain sometimes.
Now, if you had taken the time to undress me properly you would have realised that those bulges were actually those nifty muggle handcuffs I used to tie you up with during your punishment. But Nooooooooooo you just have to go and show how good you're going with clothesremoveus.
As for the water idea I have the password to the prefect bathroom and I know some handy locking charms to keep the other stuck ups out. Anyway I must be off, Blaise is nagging me to take him to Madam Pomfrey or he'll bleed on me.